http://books.google.co.il/books?id=7Fg2TiVGRQ0C&pg=PA29&dq=shedim&lr=&as_drrb_is=q&as_minm_is=1&as_miny_is=2009&as_maxm_is=12&as_maxy_is=2009&num=100&as_brr=3&as_pt=ALLTYPES&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q=shedim&f=false
http://www.jewishencyclopedia.com/articles/13523-shedim
http://www.jewishencyclopedia.com/articles/1445-amulet
http://www.jewishencyclopedia.com/articles/5942-exorcism
Sunday, 21 September 2014
black puma/panther/jaguar from first ceremony
Black Panther, Power Animal, Symbol of Astral Travel, Feminine Energy, Death and Rebirth
By Ina Woolcott
Black Panther's Power Includes astral travel, guardian energy, symbol of the feminine, death and rebirth, understanding of death, reclaiming ones power, ability to know the dark, aggressiveness and power without solar influence, reclaiming Power.
The Panther is a very ancient and powerful spirit guide. Their power is lunar (moon). In Egyptian rites a panther tail was worn around the neck or waist to help protect and strengthen the individual. Panther has been a symbol of the "Argos of a Thousand Eyes," who protected the heifer IO whom Zeus loved. After his death, the eyes were moved to the feathers of the peacock.
The name panther is frequently linked with a certain species of leopard or jaguar and sometimes the cougar. Black panthers are smaller but more fierce than lions and tigers. They are also brilliant swimmers and agile climbers. Because they have the ability to sprint with great speed, they hold the teachings of quick decisive action. Panthers are not the best long distant runners though, so those with this power animal should take part in movement therapies that improve endurance, e.g. swimming, martial arts. It is necessary to learn how to pace oneself, to not push to fast or hard on any one task.
Panthers are generally loners, extremely comfortable with themselves and are often drawn to other solitary people. Women with Panther, Leopard or Jaguar power animals frequently find themselves raising their children alone, whether it be through divorce or circumstance. People with this power animal can develop clairaudience, the ability to hear communications from other forms of life or dimensions. They must trust their thoughts and inner voice/visions as they are based in reality. This is an animal guide to assist you on your path, sometimes in the form of a real person such a mentor or teacher. The Black Panther is endowed with great magic and power, which will increasingly be experienced.
Panthers have over 400 voluntary muscles that can be used at will when required. Panthers are able to move gracefully in and out of situations, as well as freeze and not be noticed. This is a symbol of the ability to shapeshift realities, using all parts of the body to perform a task. The gift of Panther is the power of silence. They are near silent when hunting or stalking prey, and know when to make themselves seen and when to become unseen.
Panther holds the secrets of worlds that are unseen and are associated with lunar energies. Within the darkness of night resides the truth of creation. Black panthers have great mysticism associated with them. They represent the life and power of the night. They can show us how to welcome the darkness and rouse the light within it. Those with this power animal contain knowledge of a galactic origin, and have a responsibility to look after and respect this knowledge. Caution must be used when sharing it with others. When the student is ready the teacher appears, and vice versa. If the student isn't ripe the information given could trigger negative consequences.
Panthers possess acute sensitivity. The hairs that cover their lithe bodies, especially on the face, pick up subtle vibrations. This is symbolic for those with this guide. It is an indication of a need to pay attention to their feelings and honour the messages those feelings transmit.
Touch can be a significant path to explore to awaken ones concealed gifts. The black panthers sleek, smooth and sensual coat has been linked to sexuality. If panther comes into your life it may be asking you to resolve old sexual issues, or to embrace your sexuality fully.
When experiencing the presence of panther, one of their most striking features is their unblinking stare. It seems to see right through the body. Those with panther medicine can use their eyes as a healing tool and have the potential to heal on a cellular level.
Panther is a powerful guide to have, always bringing a guardian energy to those to whom it comes.
http://www.shamanicjourney.com/article/6014/black-panther-power-animal-symbol-of-astral-travel-feminine-energy-death-and-rebirth
By Ina Woolcott
Black Panther's Power Includes astral travel, guardian energy, symbol of the feminine, death and rebirth, understanding of death, reclaiming ones power, ability to know the dark, aggressiveness and power without solar influence, reclaiming Power.
The Panther is a very ancient and powerful spirit guide. Their power is lunar (moon). In Egyptian rites a panther tail was worn around the neck or waist to help protect and strengthen the individual. Panther has been a symbol of the "Argos of a Thousand Eyes," who protected the heifer IO whom Zeus loved. After his death, the eyes were moved to the feathers of the peacock.
The name panther is frequently linked with a certain species of leopard or jaguar and sometimes the cougar. Black panthers are smaller but more fierce than lions and tigers. They are also brilliant swimmers and agile climbers. Because they have the ability to sprint with great speed, they hold the teachings of quick decisive action. Panthers are not the best long distant runners though, so those with this power animal should take part in movement therapies that improve endurance, e.g. swimming, martial arts. It is necessary to learn how to pace oneself, to not push to fast or hard on any one task.
Panthers are generally loners, extremely comfortable with themselves and are often drawn to other solitary people. Women with Panther, Leopard or Jaguar power animals frequently find themselves raising their children alone, whether it be through divorce or circumstance. People with this power animal can develop clairaudience, the ability to hear communications from other forms of life or dimensions. They must trust their thoughts and inner voice/visions as they are based in reality. This is an animal guide to assist you on your path, sometimes in the form of a real person such a mentor or teacher. The Black Panther is endowed with great magic and power, which will increasingly be experienced.
Panthers have over 400 voluntary muscles that can be used at will when required. Panthers are able to move gracefully in and out of situations, as well as freeze and not be noticed. This is a symbol of the ability to shapeshift realities, using all parts of the body to perform a task. The gift of Panther is the power of silence. They are near silent when hunting or stalking prey, and know when to make themselves seen and when to become unseen.
Panther holds the secrets of worlds that are unseen and are associated with lunar energies. Within the darkness of night resides the truth of creation. Black panthers have great mysticism associated with them. They represent the life and power of the night. They can show us how to welcome the darkness and rouse the light within it. Those with this power animal contain knowledge of a galactic origin, and have a responsibility to look after and respect this knowledge. Caution must be used when sharing it with others. When the student is ready the teacher appears, and vice versa. If the student isn't ripe the information given could trigger negative consequences.
Panthers possess acute sensitivity. The hairs that cover their lithe bodies, especially on the face, pick up subtle vibrations. This is symbolic for those with this guide. It is an indication of a need to pay attention to their feelings and honour the messages those feelings transmit.
Touch can be a significant path to explore to awaken ones concealed gifts. The black panthers sleek, smooth and sensual coat has been linked to sexuality. If panther comes into your life it may be asking you to resolve old sexual issues, or to embrace your sexuality fully.
When experiencing the presence of panther, one of their most striking features is their unblinking stare. It seems to see right through the body. Those with panther medicine can use their eyes as a healing tool and have the potential to heal on a cellular level.
Panther is a powerful guide to have, always bringing a guardian energy to those to whom it comes.
http://www.shamanicjourney.com/article/6014/black-panther-power-animal-symbol-of-astral-travel-feminine-energy-death-and-rebirth
Proof that prayer/meditation works!
The Effect of Meditation on Crime
An experiment in 1993 that has been forgotten was brought to light by the movie What the Bleep do We Know? The excerpt below is taken from that movie, and it got us thinking.
Even the material world around us the chairs, the tables, the rooms,the carpet all of these are nothing but possible movements of consciousness. And I’m choosing moment to moment out of those movements to bring my actual experience into manifestation. This is the only radical thinking that you need to do. But it is so radical It’s so difficult because our tendency is that the world is already out there independent of my experience. It is not. Quantum physics has been so clear about it.
So we are not just observers! Collectively we have the power to bring about changes with just our thoughts! Yes, it has been scientifically validated with the positive effect of meditation on crime. A two-month long transcendental meditation experiment was done in Washington, DC in 1993 to reduce violent crime.
The Transcendental Meditation (TM) technique, introduced by Maharishi Yogi, is a simple, natural, effortless procedure whereby the mind easily and naturally arrives at the source of thought, the settled state of the mind — Transcendental Consciousness — pure consciousness, self-referral consciousness, which is the source of all creative processes.
In Washington DC, the so-called murder capital of the world there was a big experiment in the summer of 1993 where volunteers came from a hundred countries to collectively meditate for long periods of time throughout the day. It was predicted in advance that with such a sized group you would have a certain percentage drop in violent crime as defined by the F.B.I. in Washington that summer.
Well, the chief of police went on television saying that “Look. It’s gonna take two feet of snow to reduce crime by that percentage in Washington, DC this summer.”
But by the end, the police department became a collaborator and author of this study because the results in fact showed a percentage drop in violent crime in Washington, DC which we could predict on the basis of previous studies that had already been done on a smaller scale. Are people affecting the world of reality that they see?
We wanted to do some research on the effects of meditation on crime, and found these interesting facts. This National Demonstration Project to Reduce Violent Crime and Improve Governmental Effectiveness brought approximately 4,000 participants in the Transcendental Meditation and TM-Sidhi programs to the United States national capital from June 7 to July 30, 1993.
A 27-member independent Project Review Board consisting of sociologists and criminologists from leading universities, representatives from the police department and government monitored its progress.
Using time series analysis, violent crimes were analyzed separately in terms of HRA crimes (crimes against the person) and robberies, as well as together. The maximum decrease was 23.3% when the size of the group was largest during the final week of the project.
Based on the results of the study, the steady state gain (long-term effect) associated with a permanent group of 4,000 participants in the Transcendental Meditation and TM-Sidhi programs was calculated as a 48% reduction in HRA crimes in the District of Columbia.
A very interesting experiment that teaches us that each one of us have the power to affect our surroundings in a positive way, you can read the entire experiment report here.
Ayahuasca Fractal Imagery in Nature
Gallery: The otherworldly beauty of microscopic organisms
Marine diatoms are one of the smallest creatures on Earth. UK-based biologist Klaus Kemp and filmographer Matthew Killip teamed up to showcase these minuscule organisms' diverse beauty.
Marine diatoms are one of the smallest creatures on Earth. UK-based biologist Klaus Kemp and filmographer Matthew Killip teamed up to showcase these minuscule organisms' diverse beauty.
Caterpillar from Third Ceremony
In my third ceremony I saw a bouncy green caterpillar. Thinking it was just "fluff" was rather disappointed after my ceremony ended. Turns out there was a big lesson to learn from this lil guy and I am so happy I researched him!
Caterpillar
Caterpillars are associated with good luck and new birth. In the second stage of metamorphosis the caterpillar feeds to gain strength and build a foundation before the cocooning stage begins. This stage is when we give birth to new ideas and new creativity which hones the foundation to allow a new expression of life. The caterpillar represents new birth and new foundation and is a symbol of good luck in the early phase of new actions.
Caterpillars usually signify a need for gentle and quiet approaches to our activities and endeavors. They can also signal a surprise or gift about to be offered to us, or that can be beneficial to our future if we take advantage of it. Caterpillars herald a time of good news, new birth, and creative inspiration, signaling a time to get ready to start a new project or initiate a new endeavors.
The appearance of the caterpillar reminds us to be cautious in starting our new endeavors. We should protect and disguise them as much as possible as we pursue them. If we do so, we will see rapid growth and we will experience the birth of a new foundation.
Caterpillars can also indicate obstacles within our path. They may even indicate that a person or persons are blocking our growth or serve as a reminder that we must look at things and people around us realistically at this time. Failure to do so will slow down our progress.
And caterpillar also reminds us that new growth cannot occur unless the old is shed as the caterpillar grows quickly and must replace its skills with some caterpillars shedding their skins every few days to make room for a bigger body. A caterpillar showing up may indicate that we are refusing to shed the old that we have outgrown. (Andrews, 1999)
The medicine of caterpillar offered my friend a lot of information and was very fitting to what she had going on in her life. It was a good reminder that animal and insect medicine can give us information if we are aware of our surroundings and choose to look at the characteristics that the insect or animal brings to us. This allows the medicine we receive from the sighting to speak to us on a spiritual level and gifts us with guidance and support. This week spend time being aware of nature and the signs that are sent your way. Enjoy the gifts that communing with nature can bring to you. http://www.finding-the-peace.com/2012/07/messages-from-caterpillar.html?m=1
Snake Imagery from Third Ceremony
The snake animal meaning is powerfully connected to life force and primal energy. In many cultures, it is revered as a powerful totem representing the source of life. When the snake spirit animal appears in your life, it likely means that healing opportunities, change, important transitions, and increased energy are manifesting.
What is the meaning of the snake spirit animal?
When the snake shows up as your spirit animal, it generally means:
- Snake spirit animals represent healing
- Transformation, life changes
- The spirit of the snake is connected to life force, primal energy
- A meaning for the snake spirit animal is spiritual guidance
The snake as a spirit animal can be to provide guidance about life changes and transitions, whether they are happening at the physical, emotional or spiritual level.
Snake spirit animals, symbols for healing
The snake is close to earth energies and represents life force. Since it’s a reptile, the snake spirit animal is reminiscent of unconscious drives and primal instincts. When the snake spirit animal shows up, pay attention to how you use your energy, and where you draw it from.
If you see the snake as your spirit or power animal, be sensitive to your healing abilities towards yourself or others. Cultivate sources of energy and support, especially as they relate to the earth and nature.
In ancient traditions as well as modern times, snakes are symbols of healing powers and opportunities. In the Greek mythology, Aesclepius, the god of medicine, is featured with two snakes climbing up a rod, the symbol of what is known today as the Caduceus.
Do you want to boost your productivity, tap into your intuition and be able heal yourself naturally? This can be yours when you awaken the full power of your mind through meditation. To make it easy we found this free beginners meditation course you can start using today. All it takes is your name and email, click here for a free download of Unlimited You.
The snake and spiritual guidance
The snake can symbolize spiritual guidance. The presence of the snake in your life often means that you are in a period of transition and it points to ways promote your personal growth.
Snake could appear as a spirit animal when you are stepping into the unknown and need support to move forward. This animal is typically close to the ground and can remind you of staying grounded as you move through changes.
Dream interpretation of snakes
When a snake appears in your dreams, it most likely acts as an animal spirit guide inviting you to look at important facts or dynamics that are impacting your life. Snakes featured in dreams often leaves a strong impression on the dreamer: Such dreams tend to be frightening or disturbing because they call on strong unconscious energy.
Whether the snake spirit animal featured in your dream leaves a positive or negative impression, its presence should be considered as an invitation to look at positive changes and transformation.
The dark side of snakes in dreams
When the snake appears in your dream leaves you with a negative feeling, make sure you consider positive meanings as well. The snake spirit animal often appears in dreams as a warning about personal struggles and the need to pay attention to things or events that are escaping your field of awareness.
For instance, when you dream of being bitten or attacked by a snake, it could mean that you need to be careful about important matters you’ve been ignoring so far. If the spirit animal featured in your dream in the shape of a snake is chasing you, it may represent a challenging situation or relationship that you have been avoiding and is pushing you around.
The bottom line is that a dream featuring a snake invites you to check what in your life is “poisonous” and to look at important matters before they sneak up on you and create more damage or difficulty.
Deciphering Aya Imagery-The Perfume Bottles
In my 3rd ceremony I saw lots of perfume bottles ...and now I just found this blog post about the role of perfumes in spiritual ceremonies and the spiritual worlds:
HOW PERFUME ATTRACTS AND HEALS
Beautiful smells derived from flowers and herbs have always been used for healing and attracting love. Even the word ‘perfume’ comes from per fumer (Latin, ‘through smoke’), and is a reference to its ritual use in ceremonies for the gods who offer love’s blessings. The ancient Greeks, for example, believed that sweet aromas were how the deities made their presence known. The oracle priestesses of Delphi would sit in the smoke of bay leaf incense to allow these gods to speak through them during divinations to help people in their search for love.In India, too, seers called dainyals would surround themselves with smoke – this time of cedarwood – which would send them into trance and give them prophetic visions.Fragrance has also long been associated with the arts of love. In Japan, Geisha girls priced their services according to the number of incense sticks consumed during love-making, while in Indian tantric rituals, men were anointed with sandalwood, and women with jasmine, patchouli, amber, and musk. Saffron was crushed and smeared beneath their feet. The reason for these rituals is that smell is the most powerful of our senses and is able to stimulate desire, longing, and lust, stir our memories, and carry associations of love and happiness. Scientists have found that even a year after we meet a new person, their aroma stays in our minds, whereas visual memory drops to 50% after just three months, so we may not even remember their faces. The sense of smell is handled by the limbic system, which controls our emotions, so perfumes evoke feelings as well as memories, and we experience not just an odour but a mood.
This is the secret of pusanga. By mixing plants and flowers to create particular aromas which affect the moods of those who smell them, the shamans of the Amazon say that pusanga can cause anyone to fall hopelessly in love with the wearer. One of these shamans, Javier Aravelo, puts it this way: “When you pour pusanga onto your skin it penetrates your spirit and gives you the power to draw in love”.
How you find the right plants to do this is another secret, known as the Doctrine of Signatures. This is the idea that the Creator has left a mark or “signature” on every plant in the world to show what it is used for. The discoverer of this phenomenon was Paracelsus, a 6th century alchemist who noticed how the appearance of plants so often reflects their qualities – that the seeds of skullcap, for example, resemble small skulls and, it turns out, are effective at curing headache, or that willow, which grows in damp places, heals rheumatic conditions, which are caused by damp and the build-up of fluid on the joints. In fact, as Thomas Bartram, a modern herbalist, remarks in his Encyclopedia of Herbal Medicine, “Examples are numerous. It is a curiosity that many liver remedies have yellow flowers, those for the nerves (blue), for the spleen (orange), for the bones (white). Serpentaria (Rauwolfia) resembles a snake and is an old traditional remedy for snake-bite. Herbalism confirms the Doctrine of Signatures”. AMAZON PUSANGAFollowing this Doctrine, the basis for pusanga in the Amazon is agua de colpa. This is water collected from clay pools deep in the rainforest, where there are no people, only thousands of brightly-coloured animals who gather to drink from the water. Some of these animals are natural enemies, but at the clay pools they stand peacefully together to drink from water which is rich in mineral content and needed for their well-being. This water, in other words, has the power to attract some of the most beautiful creatures on the planet to a place where they exist harmoniously together. Added to this magical water are special herbs, plants, barks, roots or leaves, which also have the quality of attraction due to their colours, names, or where and how they grow. In the rainforest, for example, there are vines called sogas, which are recognised as pusanga plants because they wrap themselves around trees and draw close to them so they grow together. Special scented liquids, such as agua florida (which means “water for flourishing”), are also added to the mixture, which is then blessed by the shaman to empower it. This is done by blowing or singing into the pusanga, sometimes with the breath, sometimes with sacred tobacco smoke. The traditional blessing whispered to the pusanga is “salud, dinero y amor” (“health, money and love”). Once it is made, pusanga is used like a perfume, with a few drops rubbed on the pulse points of the wrists and neck, or a capful or two can be added to bath water. MAKING YOUR OWN PUSANGA
If you want more love in your life (and who doesn’t!) and would like to make pusanga of your own, just follow these instructions and romance will come your way!
The Doctrine of Signatures is your guide to collecting the plants you need. Pusanga plants for love all have certain characteristics. Their names are often significant, such as passionflower or honeysuckle (“honey” for sweetness and “suckle” for nurturing). Their colours are bright and attractive. The way they grow may also be important (ivy, for example, winds itself around other plants so the two intertwine and are drawn closer together). Their archetypal qualities may also call you (rose, for example, is nowadays practically synonymous with love). Where the plants grow can also have meaning (two plants standing together in sunlight within an otherwise dark forest signify a bright future, for example) – and so on.
https://ayahuascashamanism.wordpress.com/2008/02/17/the-pusanga-plant-spirit-shamanism-for-love-healing/
Monday, 15 September 2014
Hummingbird from third Vision
Hummingbird Symbolism
The hummingbird symbolizes many different concepts. Because of its speed, the hummingbird is known as a messenger and stopper of time. It is also a symbol of love, joy, and beauty. The hummingbird is also able to fly backwards, teaching us that we can look back on our past. But, this bird also teaches that we must not dwell on our past; we need to move forward. When the hummingbird hovers over flowers while drinking nectar, we learn that we should savour each moment, and appreciate the things we love.
The hummingbird has powerful spiritual significance. In the Andes of South America the hummingbird is a symbol of resurrection. It seems to die on cold nights, but comes back to life again at sunrise.
Hummingbird is the creature that opens the heart. When the hurt that caused us to close our hearts gets a chance to heal, our hearts are free to open again.
With hummingbird consciousness, we learn the truth of beauty. Our life becomes a wonderland of delights in flowers, aromas and tastes. We laugh and enjoy creation, we appreciate the magic of the present moment, and the magic of being alive.
Hummingbird teaches us the medicinal properties of plants and how to work with the energy of flowers to heal ourselves and others. Hummingbirds teach us fierce independence. They teach us to fight in a way where no one gets hurt. They teach us courage. Having the courage to refrain from creating new trauma by communicating non-violently toward ourselves and others is an important part of healing. Recovering lost parts of ourselves enables us to become healthily independent.
It is not commonly known that the fluttering wings of the hummingbird move in the pattern of an infinity symbol - further solidifying their symbolism of eternity, continuity, and infinity.
By observing the Hummingbird, we see they are seemingly tireless. Always actively seeking the sweetest nectar, they remind us to forever seek out the good in life and the beauty in each day. Amazing migrators, some Hummingbirds are known to wing their way as far as 2000 miles to reach their destination. This quality reminds us to be persistent in the pursuit of our dreams, and adopt the tenacity of the Hummingbird in our lives.
http://mara-gamiel.blogspot.co.il/2009/09/hummingbird-symbolism.html
The hummingbird has powerful spiritual significance. In the Andes of South America the hummingbird is a symbol of resurrection. It seems to die on cold nights, but comes back to life again at sunrise.Hummingbird is the creature that opens the heart. When the hurt that caused us to close our hearts gets a chance to heal, our hearts are free to open again.
With hummingbird consciousness, we learn the truth of beauty. Our life becomes a wonderland of delights in flowers, aromas and tastes. We laugh and enjoy creation, we appreciate the magic of the present moment, and the magic of being alive.
Hummingbird teaches us the medicinal properties of plants and how to work with the energy of flowers to heal ourselves and others. Hummingbirds teach us fierce independence. They teach us to fight in a way where no one gets hurt. They teach us courage. Having the courage to refrain from creating new trauma by communicating non-violently toward ourselves and others is an important part of healing. Recovering lost parts of ourselves enables us to become healthily independent.
It is not commonly known that the fluttering wings of the hummingbird move in the pattern of an infinity symbol - further solidifying their symbolism of eternity, continuity, and infinity.
By observing the Hummingbird, we see they are seemingly tireless. Always actively seeking the sweetest nectar, they remind us to forever seek out the good in life and the beauty in each day. Amazing migrators, some Hummingbirds are known to wing their way as far as 2000 miles to reach their destination. This quality reminds us to be persistent in the pursuit of our dreams, and adopt the tenacity of the Hummingbird in our lives.
Seal/Sea Lions in First Vision
Seal, Sea Lion, Power Animal Symbol of The Inner Voice
By Ina Woolcott
Seal's medicine includes protection during change, dreaming and lucid dreaming, imagination, creativity, protection from danger, movement through emotions, the inner voice
Celtic beliefs imply the human connection to animals is literal. It is believed that animals have the power to change into human form, and that entire clans are descended from the union of these animal people and humans. Dogs, wolves and cats are some of these animals, and one of the most common associations is with seal-people (selchies).Whether one believes this to be literally true or not, this is a powerful suggestion that we are more closely linked to the animals than we may think, and may inspire us to look into these connections in more depth.
Seals spend much of their lives in the sea, but they give birth on land. This shows us that there are 2 necessary things that help fulfil our dreams and visions. These are formed deep within us, and are nurtured through the power of our ability to envision them using all our senses. They are most easily made ‘real’ by us when we implement practical and material acts. a lot of the time when us humans are ‘creating’ something, the feeling side of things is absent.
During the mating season, males can partake in extremely savage battles one minute and be playful and amusing the next. Seals have the agility to move from anger to complete calm.
Seals are (obviously) sea mammals, and are highly symbolic of our feeling, sensual selves. The seal helps us to remember our connection to our deep inner rhythms, feelings, and knowing, as represented by the sea. As humans generally believe themselves to be apart from ‘animals’, when really we are a-part of them, we often fight giving in to these deep rhythms and are afraid of ‘losing’ what we consider to be ourselves. When we are afraid of drowning in these depths, Seal being a good swimmer and knowing how to flow with the ever changing current, reminds us how to swim with the current. When we do this the negative feelings we have created such as worry, fear and anxiety are released from our minds. If seal enters your life, you are being asked to review the ebb and flow of your thoughts and emotions and find and keep up a point of balance.
Water is a creative element and symbolises the feminine imagination and intuition. If the seal appears in your life, pay close attention to your imagination and insight - in the waking stateand in dreamtime. A lot of what you imagine generally has a strong basis in reality, no matter how far-off it may seem. People with seal as a power animal are generally highly imaginative and very creative. They will need activities that channel and direct this. The Seal/Sea Lion can show you how to develop and focus your imagination.
Rather than having external ears, seals have small openings. This shows their deep affinity with their inner voice, and can show you how to listen to your inner self, balance your life to it. Your dreams will become more vivid and significant.
Seals swim both below and above water, giving them the ability to experience both the inner and outer worlds.
They teach those with this totem how to flow, how to hear, and how to discover the deeper mysteries of their true nature. Seals are keepers of wisdom. They reveal to us what is hidden deep within ourselves, and teach us how to integrate our imagination with the reasoning power of the intellect. This will give balance and harmony on all levels.
The seal which is so sleek and gorgeous in the water, teaches us how to feel at home in our bodies, and to uncover our inner beauty.
By Ina Woolcott
Seal's medicine includes protection during change, dreaming and lucid dreaming, imagination, creativity, protection from danger, movement through emotions, the inner voice
Celtic beliefs imply the human connection to animals is literal. It is believed that animals have the power to change into human form, and that entire clans are descended from the union of these animal people and humans. Dogs, wolves and cats are some of these animals, and one of the most common associations is with seal-people (selchies).Whether one believes this to be literally true or not, this is a powerful suggestion that we are more closely linked to the animals than we may think, and may inspire us to look into these connections in more depth.
Seals spend much of their lives in the sea, but they give birth on land. This shows us that there are 2 necessary things that help fulfil our dreams and visions. These are formed deep within us, and are nurtured through the power of our ability to envision them using all our senses. They are most easily made ‘real’ by us when we implement practical and material acts. a lot of the time when us humans are ‘creating’ something, the feeling side of things is absent.
During the mating season, males can partake in extremely savage battles one minute and be playful and amusing the next. Seals have the agility to move from anger to complete calm.
Seals are (obviously) sea mammals, and are highly symbolic of our feeling, sensual selves. The seal helps us to remember our connection to our deep inner rhythms, feelings, and knowing, as represented by the sea. As humans generally believe themselves to be apart from ‘animals’, when really we are a-part of them, we often fight giving in to these deep rhythms and are afraid of ‘losing’ what we consider to be ourselves. When we are afraid of drowning in these depths, Seal being a good swimmer and knowing how to flow with the ever changing current, reminds us how to swim with the current. When we do this the negative feelings we have created such as worry, fear and anxiety are released from our minds. If seal enters your life, you are being asked to review the ebb and flow of your thoughts and emotions and find and keep up a point of balance.
Water is a creative element and symbolises the feminine imagination and intuition. If the seal appears in your life, pay close attention to your imagination and insight - in the waking stateand in dreamtime. A lot of what you imagine generally has a strong basis in reality, no matter how far-off it may seem. People with seal as a power animal are generally highly imaginative and very creative. They will need activities that channel and direct this. The Seal/Sea Lion can show you how to develop and focus your imagination.
Rather than having external ears, seals have small openings. This shows their deep affinity with their inner voice, and can show you how to listen to your inner self, balance your life to it. Your dreams will become more vivid and significant.
Seals swim both below and above water, giving them the ability to experience both the inner and outer worlds.
They teach those with this totem how to flow, how to hear, and how to discover the deeper mysteries of their true nature. Seals are keepers of wisdom. They reveal to us what is hidden deep within ourselves, and teach us how to integrate our imagination with the reasoning power of the intellect. This will give balance and harmony on all levels.
The seal which is so sleek and gorgeous in the water, teaches us how to feel at home in our bodies, and to uncover our inner beauty.
Pyramids-What Are They?
In my quest to understand why I saw Aztec Pyramids in my first vision, I have been keeping my eyes out for some sort of explanation what the pyramid is symbolic of or if it has any sort of power. I found this on my facebook news feed by chance:
Here is a mainstream Russian news station reporting on pyramid healing:
Written by Steven Bancarz| The Great Pyramid is in my opinion the most amazing structure every built. But what makes it so special, and why does a massive pile of bricks deserve to be called one of the wonders of the world? The following are a series of facts that few people know about The Great Pyramid, and they will really make you wonder who the heck built these thing and for what purpose.
The Great Pyramid of Giza is constructed with 6 million tons of precisely placed stone covering roughly 13.6 acres. The foundation of the pyramid is so precise that not one corner of it is not even a 1/2 inch higher or lower than the other. How were they able to level it so perfectly? The length of a base side at the base socket level is 9131 pyramid inches or 365.24 pyramid cubits (reference for earths revolution).
The average height of land above sea level for the earth is 5449 inches which is also surprisingly the exact height of the pyramid. Not only this, but it was originally constructed with massive polished limestone casing stones weighing in excess of 20-50 tons each. The stones are still being dug up around the base of the pyramid, and many of them were removed and used to build mosques and temples. The Great Pyramid used to look like a huge white polished reflector, giving it the nickname “The Light”.
What is most remarkable is that the pyramid sits right on the spot if you were to take the line of longitude that covers the most amount of land and line of latitude that covers the most amount of land and intersect them together. The east/west parallel that crosses the most land and the north/south meridian that crosses the most land intersect in two places on the earth, one in the ocean and the other at the Great Pyramid. In other words, it is located at the exact center of the earth’s landmass.
How is it that ancient man was able to build a structure that we cannot construct today, and just so happened to build it right on the center point of the earth and at the exact height of the average height above sea level? But we are just getting started here. The following discoveries take the pyramid mystery to a whole new level. I am not judging the authenticity of the studies that will be mentioned down below. I am not saying the claims that will be made are 100% true. All I am doing is reporting on information done by mainstream scientists that has already been put out there.
According to studies, pyramids are technological healing machines which harness natural energy as seen above using Kirlian photography. This energy allows them to do what we would call “miracles”. For instance, Karel Drbal was awarded Czechoslovakian patent number 91304 for his “Cheops Pyramid Razor Blade Sharpener” in 1959 when he discovered that his razor blades would sharpen themselves when put into a pyramid shaped container. This was proved in 2001 by Dr. Krasnoholovets when scanning-electron microscope photography confirmed that the molecular structure of the razor-blade was actually changing.
Many pyramids were build in Russia and the Ukraine by former workers of the military industrial complex of the Soviet Union after the fall of the Iron Curtain, where countless studies were done. Today there are more than 50 built worldwide out of PVC plastic and fiberglass, which are still being tested on today. Below is a list of findings that were discovered through pyramid experiments. These experiments were scientifically controlled, and conducted by professors from the Russian Academy of Medical Science, the Russian R&D Institute of Pediatrics, the Gubkin Moscow Academy of Oil and Gas, and the All-Russian Electrotechnical Institute just to name a few. These incredible studies have found:
- storing a medical drug in the pyramid (venoglobin) caused the drug to becomes 3 times more effective
- when mice were given the same dose of the same carcinogen, 60% of the mice who were put into the pyramid survived whereas only 7% of the mice in the control group survived. Poisons and viruses became less harmful and toxic
- when built over an oil well, it caused a 30% increase in oil production with cleaner oil
- seeds kept in the pyramid for a period of time before being planted experienced a 20-100% increase in crop productivity
- animals experience a higher blood cell count, and food tasted better and was preserved longer in a pyramid
- water purifies itself when put inside of a pyramid
- ozone holes above the pyramid healed themselves, new streams developed, and supposed extinct flowers began growing around the area of the pyramid
- the molecular structure of rocks changed when put into the center of the pyramid and became white at the top. This was repeated 40 different times with 40 different rocks.
- prison cells that were build out of granite rocks that were left inside a pyramid resulted in improved behaviour and reduced criminal activity
Life apparently has an energy that supports its own existence, and this energy appears to be harnessed by the pyramid. Perhaps it acts like a funnel for universal energy to flow through. Could it create a directional current within the zero-point field? Is this why ancient may was obsessed with building pyramids and carving them into mountains wherever they could? Where did they get this information? And why aren’t we using this technology today to help the planet?
Please share your thoughts on this below!
Sources:
“The Source Field Investigations” by David Wilcock
About the author: My name is Steven Bancarz, and I am the creator of “Spirit Science and Metaphysics”. Thanks for reading the article. I hope you enjoyed it!
- See more at: http://www.spiritscienceandmetaphysics.com/pyramid-technology-what-you-need-to-know-about-pyramids/#sthash.meH3yRjS.dpuf
Tuesday, 22 July 2014
Acacia Retrospective
So since my last session I have been plagued with loneliness. thinking of the realms I was stuck in where I was alone and didn't know if I was isolated as the only soul that ever was and is, and even further wondered if I was even a soul at all. Maybe everyone is everything etc or an illusion or perhaps we are all one entity and not separate. I seemed to settle with that last idea as it seemed most positive and truthful.
It brought a deep sense of loneliness as i wondered what love was if I didn't even know "what" "I" was . If we are all one how can we love each other as separate entities? What IS love? Selfish attachment? Ego connections?
Maybe we just need each other.
started to wonder if we synchronize our spirit selves in order to connect and help each other evolve..because in the void i didnt think the soul can evolve. Only through life and connection can our bits of the Universal soul evolve, fix, and transcend.
Confused. went through a period thinking this is why I felt lately disconnected from other humans. able to empathize but feeling like I am a different species. Started to look at my childhood and saw there was not allot of healthy love growing up.
Was feeling depressed for a week or so...spoke to the guy who helped me in the bathroom in the last session. A beautiful soul. he came to visit me during work and while I chatted with him asked him what the brew was I drank before the last session. He told me "acacia".
I looked up "acacia * aya" when I got home and the first result was from erowid. The experience this guy had was so similar to mine! I suddenly felt so validated and less "crazy"/
It brought a deep sense of loneliness as i wondered what love was if I didn't even know "what" "I" was . If we are all one how can we love each other as separate entities? What IS love? Selfish attachment? Ego connections?
Maybe we just need each other.
started to wonder if we synchronize our spirit selves in order to connect and help each other evolve..because in the void i didnt think the soul can evolve. Only through life and connection can our bits of the Universal soul evolve, fix, and transcend.
Confused. went through a period thinking this is why I felt lately disconnected from other humans. able to empathize but feeling like I am a different species. Started to look at my childhood and saw there was not allot of healthy love growing up.
Was feeling depressed for a week or so...spoke to the guy who helped me in the bathroom in the last session. A beautiful soul. he came to visit me during work and while I chatted with him asked him what the brew was I drank before the last session. He told me "acacia".
I looked up "acacia * aya" when I got home and the first result was from erowid. The experience this guy had was so similar to mine! I suddenly felt so validated and less "crazy"/
whats funny is the week before I discovered the plant I drank was acacia, I saw the movie "Noah". really enjoyed the interpretation the director took with the scripture. We see Noah joining Methuselah for a drink of "tea" which looks shockingly like ayahausca! And Noah started to see the visions from God right after.
Spoke to my friend Mike about this and he tells me , Noah's ark was built from Accacia!!!!! Hmm..very interesting ;)
Now I dont agree with Benny Shanon's heretical views but I do wonder if the ancients used these medicinal plants to see the divine sometimes.
As you can see in this article the idea:
Moses saw God 'because he was stoned - again'
The Bible tells us that when the Children of Israel left Egypt, they had a 40-year trip through the desert before reaching the Promised Land. Now a leading Israeli academic has a new theory about exactly what kind of trip it was.
In the philosophy journal Time and Mind, Benny Shanon states that key events of the Old Testament are actually records of visions by ancient Israelites high on hallucinogens. Shanon is a professor at Jerusalem's Hebrew University, where he used to head the psychology department.
The psychedelic substance is a drink called Ayahuasca. It is extracted from plants that grow in the Holy Land and in the Sinai peninsula and is still used today by Amazonians in Brazil for their religious rituals. Shanon came up with his theory when reading the Bible. The events described reminded him of the visions he had after trying this drink 15 years ago. So, when Moses first encountered God, he was high. "Encountering the divine is one of the most powerful experiences associated with high-level Ayahuasca inebriation," claims Shanon.
At the Burning Bush, covered in flames but mysteriously not consumed, there was no miracle, just a drug-induced "radical alteration in the state of consciousness of the beholder - that is, Moses". The account of the Children of Israel hearing God while camped at Mount Sinai is about a mass drug-taking event - giving a whole new explanation for the reported "cloud of smoke" that settled on the mountain. And when Moses climbed Sinai and received the Ten Commandments and the Bible, he was tripping.
Hardly an incident in the Bible is spared Shanon's drug-focused reading. Acacia trees, used by Noah to build the ark, were revered because some varieties contain the psychedelic substance dimethyltryptamine (DMT). In Shanon's opinion, the Tree of Knowledge in the Garden of Eden offered something far more tempting than an apple.
Rabbis in Israel and the UK are largely ignoring Shanon's theories, and those who have spoken out have been dismissive. "The Bible is trying to convey a very profound event. We have to fear not for the fate of the biblical Moses, but for the fate of science," Rabbi Yuval Sherlow told Israel Radio. Israeli internet chatrooms, though, are buzzing with condemnations of "heresy", endorsements, and charges that Shanon, not Moses, must have taken drugs. One poster writes: "Maybe it is true - then religion really is the opiate of the people."
http://www.theguardian.com/world/2008/mar/06/religion.israelandthepalestinians
Sunday, 27 April 2014
My Fourth Experience
Using this sacred plant causes you to shift to a dimension where space and time are distorted. Minutes become years and hours turn into decades. Its often hard to encapsulate an experience like this with mere words or paragraphs. But I am trying to relay the experiences as they happened to me.,,however long and convoluted it might sound I give you the truth. So patience with my rambling, this is from notes I took right after;
The 4th session was by far the most intense and "scary" I had encountered compared to the others previously . Not scary like monster scary, but in a sense of loss of self and trapped in the endless speed of the unknown dimensions that exist beyond our physical mind and bodies. I believe I went to a place where no human should step foot in and because of this, i felt frightened and completely overwhelmed.
On the way to the ceremony a series of negative stuff happened to me which in hindsight I believe contributed to the unfortunate experience of this session. To start off, I had some friction with the Shaman's girlfriend who I was certain was jealous of me and harboring ill feelings against me. The fact that the shaman used his girlfriend often times to help out in ceremonies or lead when he was too far in had made me uncomfortable. I felt annoyed for example, at the previous session where the guy next to me was harboring that negative spirit, that she never came to me to see if I was ok when I was clearly bugging out. On top of this she threw some underhanded comments my way and often times spoke to me patronizingly. I was afraid at a session I may need her and she would not be fit to assist me, and felt my fears were confirmed in this 4th session. It definitely didn't help going in feeling vulnerable to that feeling to start with/
I made up to travel with some other women from my city but they weren't very nice and left me by the train and went themselves. We had arranged a connecting ride to take us the duration of the trip. These mean women had gotten off at a wrong stop on the train, The driver-lets call him Juan, decided with me we would go and fetch them. On the way to pick them up he and i got into an exciting conversation about our past ceremonies and reflections. when the women were picked up they seemed almost hostile; right before we got to the place for the ceremony, one of them rudely told me to be quiet and it made me very sad. by the time i walked into the ceremonial area i was already feeling very bad about myself and ashamed. but on a very deep level. I cried in front of everyone, like a small child. I felt possessed the minute I walked through out the door afraid and mistrusting of everyone around me-the girl who spoke against me, the shamans girlfriend, and her friend who was also there.I started to feel like I was not in a safe setting.
I drank an extra potion of some other plant medicine before the aya, i dont know what it was but was told it was supposed to vastly enhance my experience. I thought whatever comes my way, I will take it, because what else am I doing there but to work? (found out later this was accacia, the tree Noah built the ark from. It also contains DMT)
I remember when i first went under i laughed familiarly. my spirit knew where it was. it had been there many times before and it was like coming home.
Most familiar were these shapes like "birds" formations flying in the distance, crescent symmetry echoing around me, and i recognized these shapes also from previous sessions . they echoed in their permeation on a grey background. I laughed. good to be home.good to be back. I knew where I was .
i hoped this time i would see and realize things and find out the answers to some questions i meditated on before.
But careful what you wish for.
After I saw the familiar realm and shapes of silhouettes of birds in flight I went to another dimension, another world. tall bubble like building crumbling in grey rubble. Everything seemed futuristic and grey. then things started to lose human form or reference. more symmetry and shapes, tunnels of shapes I started to go to another realm entirely. it actually reminded me of this account from a near death experience I saw months later :http://www.near-death.com/experiences/research20.html
Lost in a realm. no way out
realm within a realm within a realm of these familiar places and sites, kaleidoscope reality. endless layers of props and dimensions "worlds upon worlds" ENDLESS EYES ALL ON ME. a bit smothering.
felt a loss of everything i knew -even forgetting to breathe overwhelmed by visions. i had no body. no mind. did i even have a soul? WHO WAS I? would i return? what if my soul never returned to my body? my soul seemed so insignificant. no more pride left in me. i experienced something familiar when i died from fright seeing the shayd the second session but this now was more frightening for a longer period; endless back and forth for hours. coming back to earth and then back "up there". dying over and over again. feeling my spirit enter and leave. so painful. kept trying to find a point of vision on the wall to lead me home back to earth to my body-like a painting or shadow-hard to do in the dark- and it kept disappearing. kept losing my grounding.
This specific point reminded me of a story a woman told in the movie "The Ayahuasca Project"..she said she didnt know who she was,,,she couldnt even identify herself in a photograph. Interestingly enough she was the only one shown in the movie doing the medicine who was not an addict herself, although she said she seemed to identify with what the other addicts were feeling. I wonder what this common experience means and what my purpose is to fix it? Do I feel loneliness? mistrust? loss of confidence and self in general in life? I also noticed in the movie there were those who did not come to any epiphany but instead identified their painful experiences as a child to the visions with the medicine..they said that the medicine allows you to access your most first hidden painful memories and allows you to re-experience them again as the medicine works thus giving the opportunity to resolve those issues as a stronger more adult person.
I remember so badly wanting the visions to stop, kept crying out in my mind ENOUGH!. sometimes sinister, the dragon went in but as i told it not to enter, but maybe it was just too late. i couldnt voice myself . sometimes my mouth wired shut with shock and detatchment from body and other times afraid to disturb the room.
there were times i felt i would die. other times big shame. feeling a soul alone lost in these dimensions no one to help me. other times felt claustrophobic, the eyes surrounding me, i was in a endless dimension in a dimension within within a dimension a pool of eyes all on me and i just couldn't bear it. INTENSITY. no escape.
This is how the dimensions looked, this is what I saw:
i felt people in the ceremony must be looking at me laughing at me. I felt so insecure and shameful.the shamans girlfriend came to calm me, blew smoke on me, and at that moment she did save me. just holding her hand gave me a semblance of earth and being in reality, i lay my head on her shoulder and chest and felt like i searched for the feminine love in her my mother never gave me. but then, the guy next to me started shoving me, he was lost in his own visions. i asked her to try to help me, talk to him, get him to move . in the middle of everything the shaman changed the words of his song and made us all laugh. i could hear my own laughter echoing in the place where there is no time. i accidentally rocked my head back and forth into the shamans gf water bowl instrument and it spilled all over us. more shame. I could not see at all-from dark, and from visions. i then asked her to help me to the bathroom. again, more shame. i tried to explain to her as she led me to the bathroom that the guy next to me, he was really in my face and scaring me, but then she blamed me for wanting to sit in the corner. I went to the bathroom and that was hard to do. because i was so disembodied. I sat on the toilet floor staring at the candle, hoping the light would bring me back to earth but i still kept falling into a hole of self doubt and fear of death and neglect.the toilet bowl and the room became an endless abyss which i kept disappearing into again and again into self destruction. i thought, who will find me if i die and will they care. and if someone will need the toilet and finds me how embarrassing, they will never let me back here! i peered outside the door . the shamans gf was gone. she didn't make sure i was OK. this brought me even more down. i left the bathroom hugging the wall for safety..sat down by the wall between the hallway to the bathroom and the living room and cradled my head in my hands. i didnt have the courage or the sight to get back into the room. i felt like they were on planet earth and i was still in another dimension.
so i returned to the bathroom. i thought , this is it, i should just run away if i ever wake from this nightmare within a nightmare. Ill just hide here.I thought very harshly, as if it defined me and there was no other thought -it was just me, who i was, that "no one cares. you are a prideful shameful nothing. you are not special. you are connected to no one and nothing and serve no merit ". how to define a soul without a human brain? there are no parameters. no description because everything descriptive or expressive is within human parameters, basically all ego . what do we experience as a soul if we have no mind or space and time to define it? its all nothing but yet still something- i thought certainly nothing I could be prideful of. if anything, ashamed.. just then i heard a knock at the door. I ran to my feet and saw juan. he told me he could see me through the door and sense I needed help. (he drank another brew, not the aya, and he said it allowed him to see through walls! devils shade?). Thank God he found me. He took me to my mattress. When I got back I swore to the eyes I would go back to life, to my earth world, and never return. i tried to placate them, i pleaded with them, let me return to earth I will have a child. and i saw myself with a child.
Really, the spirits, the eyes, the realm , it was not scary it was just too full on, and i felt drastically uncomfortable as I did not belong there. I felt I did not merit in life to carry on being there at this time and I felt shamed at trying to go where I shouldnt be. i promised them i would stop asking questions and live this blessing we call life. I dont know if this is what they wanted from me or this was my panicked bribe to get them to let me go. at some point i even tried to promise them I would be a better orthodox jew but in this place you cannot lie, so I accepted my truths and said, ok maybe I cannot be more religious, but I can have children. I asked the eyes if my current BF was the one..i asked why do we love as humans and why do we have kids? No answer. I was too busy trying to run back to earth to "hear" the response
Back on my mattress i continued to freak out, not breathe well. i had drank all my water. i had to cry to the shamens girlfriend for more. she gave me more and i was grateful. even more shamed to be at her mercy again. thought, she must think im pitiful.
i could not lie down because the visions kept turning into other worlds. i would immediately disconnect the moment i hit the pillow. i tried to sit up to enable breathing and looking at the walls shadows to keep me grounded. i still would slip and and out. it took every ounce or stamina to go back and forth and return to earth each time. I felt as if i was in an ocean being dunked in and out endlessly . at times you feel, ok , ill just drown, give up, and other times you fight for the light, to swim to safety. i felt i died and was resurrected a hundred times.
the shamans gf told me, show love to the fear and it will disappear. I never understood why we have love but i do realize it is ALL we have and nothing much more will help or "save" us when we feel so helpless in this world. I started to wonder if love too was an illusion since I felt I was " no one" in that realm or nothing..like what IS love? How can someone really selflessly love another ? and how can we love if we are these undefinable souls? still wondering WHAT the soul is or if perhaps we are all fragments of one big soul.
I had never been so confused about the purpose of love and family more than I was at that moment. it has caused me to question love, when its something I feel so programmed to give. at the time then, just wondered why, why do we need it? as a soul, why do we need children?
I could see slivers of light in the endless abyss. shadows. I wanted to jam the light switch on in the room and scream out to everyone ENOUGH!! and instead I just whimpered a meek "enough! Make it stop!"
after we came down the guy next to me, Lee says , ignore labels people put on you, dont care what people say about you, accept you and be you. Really rang true. he told me he saw me crying before the session and wanted to help but didnt know how. I needed that reassurance at the time. especially because i went into the trip so insecure from that nasty woman's words on the car ride in.
I felt in my trip I head a voice (was it my own?) saying stop asking questions. live life. give and receive love to family " still confused by all this. Lee, although a very nice man , during the ceremony was very vocal ..he sounded like a monster breathing. at some point it became shrill and the shamans gf had to calm him.
every time i heard instruments and singing and couldnt find the shamans voice it sent me into a fearful panic. Maybe because his girlfriend was running the show and i didnt feel she really cared enough about me. I felt alone and lost and apart from the group.
.
As I was coming down i thought, the body does not need food. just water.
The shaman came to see how I was. he was so upbeat and positive. i thought it was weird. didnt he see me making a mess and freaking out the whole session? I found out later he had been very deeply involved in his trip and had been cognitive of the room..which explains why his gf took so much control of the session and icaros. he had no clue what I had been through . he asked me if I would come to the next session at breakfast and I told him reluctantly I did not know.
i realized also in those realms at the closing that my bf was right in a way, he said dont go there, dont do aya, don't ask. just live. and it seemed like maybe he knew all along more than me. its as if he knew but refused to communicate openly about it.. So then I realized do not judge the intelligence of others, some have intuitive knowledge of deeper things.
I was told in my mind not to speak of anything after just listen to others and look for their source from where they come from. do not judge, be humble. have patience. we are all in this for good or for bad and we need the love to spread the light.
Felt enormously blessed to be in this world, this world is an ESCAPE-an escape from the intensity of justice that I had seen in the other realms. so blessed with cognitive dissonance. to live with no "real" cares. most live life easy and lovingly not reactive just supportive. I told myself, not to care what people think because we are all just human and trying our best.
I thought, the real reality is too much for the brain to comprehend. don't go there. I wonder if that was the fear or the plant talking? or truth?
I realize my goal in life is am looking for love & happiness. Seems simplistic..but this was the thought.
during my visions I looked at reality from the side, just like in my previous ceremony ( except then I didnt understand what I was seeing)! it was like looking at the side of a sheet of paper. layers of realities and dimensions/ i also saw the world like on a cockpit simulator. coordinates for planet earth, looking at the side as if in a plane on a tilt, viewing this dimension on its side.
the woman who hurt my feelings before the ceremony apologized to me on the way home. still in a state of shock I told her it was ok and hugged her. I dont know how I feel about that.
after the ceremony i went home and got ready for shabbat. I had a revelation while lighting shabbat candles: remembered how overtaken i was with pleading to the angels/entities and the thousands of eyes. i understood how easy it could have been to fall into idol worship. to be in a dimension of no excuses, only truth. judaism commands us to look at only one God, and that's a freeing thought,to have only one God. to have one power. to believe in angels as god is to be imprisoned and to be a victim to those limited facets. perhaps we dont have the capability to understand, but they are holy messengers. greater than us perhaps but still under the auspices of God. He controls everything and anything and beyond of what is.
after coming home, feelings of shame fear to die, feeling to run and never speak of it. I called the shaman a few days later and it was obvious his gf had filled him in on my experiences in the session. he sounded very defensive telling me nothing bad of spirit was in the room. i explained that i was not frightened because I saw something scary per se but only because I couldnt handle myself in the realm I was in. He mentioned my repetitive feelings of going back and forth like death could signify trauma of previous deaths in other lifetimes. he also suggested I maybe wait to do aya again. I wasnt sure what to think. was he speaking from the perspective of his jealous girlfriend or just concerned I was not mentally prepared? I found it hard to believe because the 3 previous sessions I handled well. was it the potion I drank before that made it so intense or was it something he saw intuitively as a healer? I am inclined to believe it was from his girlfriend because when I was at the ceremony, after, he was urging me very much to come back soon. After discussing these events with my friend, who is a psychotherapist, she insisted that I had these negative feelings during the session because the shamans girlfriend made me feel scared and vulnerable, plus that nasty woman's comments before the session and merely didnt feel comfortable enough in my surroundings to be able to let go properly. Ayahuasca is a medicine you must do in a safe and conducive setting. surroundings are very influential to experience. I wondered if I shoulfdcome again to do another session to confront the fear. truth is i was terrified. I decided i would force myself to go back because the next session would be the last for a very long time. I did my dieting, and lo and behold hours before the ceremony i got my period and couldn't join. you should know usually my time of month comes like clockwork, every month on time. the month before my period came a week late and i couldn't understand why. now I have my answer. The plant did not want me to come to this last ceremony.
All in all I feel like I had a very positive turn around in my temperament, perspective, health and outlook after the first 3 ceremonies (even if session #2 had me in tears for a few days till i worked it out and i was left happier than ever)/ yet after session 4 I feel like I was left feeling sad and a bit confused. I still carry the lessons I have learned and have evolved and changed to whole nother person.
*update...given this last experience more thought. it made me flash back to the place where I felt alone a soul adrift in those circular fractal dimensions. Could it be i felt alone and lonely and nothing and void because i was at that point part of the one? Exploring the idea that each one of us is part of a ONE and we are all interacting together as people but really part of the ONE. we are the ONE reflecting on itself.
This beautiful documentary talks about this concept:
The 4th session was by far the most intense and "scary" I had encountered compared to the others previously . Not scary like monster scary, but in a sense of loss of self and trapped in the endless speed of the unknown dimensions that exist beyond our physical mind and bodies. I believe I went to a place where no human should step foot in and because of this, i felt frightened and completely overwhelmed.
On the way to the ceremony a series of negative stuff happened to me which in hindsight I believe contributed to the unfortunate experience of this session. To start off, I had some friction with the Shaman's girlfriend who I was certain was jealous of me and harboring ill feelings against me. The fact that the shaman used his girlfriend often times to help out in ceremonies or lead when he was too far in had made me uncomfortable. I felt annoyed for example, at the previous session where the guy next to me was harboring that negative spirit, that she never came to me to see if I was ok when I was clearly bugging out. On top of this she threw some underhanded comments my way and often times spoke to me patronizingly. I was afraid at a session I may need her and she would not be fit to assist me, and felt my fears were confirmed in this 4th session. It definitely didn't help going in feeling vulnerable to that feeling to start with/
I made up to travel with some other women from my city but they weren't very nice and left me by the train and went themselves. We had arranged a connecting ride to take us the duration of the trip. These mean women had gotten off at a wrong stop on the train, The driver-lets call him Juan, decided with me we would go and fetch them. On the way to pick them up he and i got into an exciting conversation about our past ceremonies and reflections. when the women were picked up they seemed almost hostile; right before we got to the place for the ceremony, one of them rudely told me to be quiet and it made me very sad. by the time i walked into the ceremonial area i was already feeling very bad about myself and ashamed. but on a very deep level. I cried in front of everyone, like a small child. I felt possessed the minute I walked through out the door afraid and mistrusting of everyone around me-the girl who spoke against me, the shamans girlfriend, and her friend who was also there.I started to feel like I was not in a safe setting.
I drank an extra potion of some other plant medicine before the aya, i dont know what it was but was told it was supposed to vastly enhance my experience. I thought whatever comes my way, I will take it, because what else am I doing there but to work? (found out later this was accacia, the tree Noah built the ark from. It also contains DMT)
I remember when i first went under i laughed familiarly. my spirit knew where it was. it had been there many times before and it was like coming home.
Most familiar were these shapes like "birds" formations flying in the distance, crescent symmetry echoing around me, and i recognized these shapes also from previous sessions . they echoed in their permeation on a grey background. I laughed. good to be home.good to be back. I knew where I was .
i hoped this time i would see and realize things and find out the answers to some questions i meditated on before.
But careful what you wish for.
After I saw the familiar realm and shapes of silhouettes of birds in flight I went to another dimension, another world. tall bubble like building crumbling in grey rubble. Everything seemed futuristic and grey. then things started to lose human form or reference. more symmetry and shapes, tunnels of shapes I started to go to another realm entirely. it actually reminded me of this account from a near death experience I saw months later :http://www.near-death.com/experiences/research20.html
Lost in a realm. no way out
realm within a realm within a realm of these familiar places and sites, kaleidoscope reality. endless layers of props and dimensions "worlds upon worlds" ENDLESS EYES ALL ON ME. a bit smothering.
felt a loss of everything i knew -even forgetting to breathe overwhelmed by visions. i had no body. no mind. did i even have a soul? WHO WAS I? would i return? what if my soul never returned to my body? my soul seemed so insignificant. no more pride left in me. i experienced something familiar when i died from fright seeing the shayd the second session but this now was more frightening for a longer period; endless back and forth for hours. coming back to earth and then back "up there". dying over and over again. feeling my spirit enter and leave. so painful. kept trying to find a point of vision on the wall to lead me home back to earth to my body-like a painting or shadow-hard to do in the dark- and it kept disappearing. kept losing my grounding.
This specific point reminded me of a story a woman told in the movie "The Ayahuasca Project"..she said she didnt know who she was,,,she couldnt even identify herself in a photograph. Interestingly enough she was the only one shown in the movie doing the medicine who was not an addict herself, although she said she seemed to identify with what the other addicts were feeling. I wonder what this common experience means and what my purpose is to fix it? Do I feel loneliness? mistrust? loss of confidence and self in general in life? I also noticed in the movie there were those who did not come to any epiphany but instead identified their painful experiences as a child to the visions with the medicine..they said that the medicine allows you to access your most first hidden painful memories and allows you to re-experience them again as the medicine works thus giving the opportunity to resolve those issues as a stronger more adult person.
I remember so badly wanting the visions to stop, kept crying out in my mind ENOUGH!. sometimes sinister, the dragon went in but as i told it not to enter, but maybe it was just too late. i couldnt voice myself . sometimes my mouth wired shut with shock and detatchment from body and other times afraid to disturb the room.
there were times i felt i would die. other times big shame. feeling a soul alone lost in these dimensions no one to help me. other times felt claustrophobic, the eyes surrounding me, i was in a endless dimension in a dimension within within a dimension a pool of eyes all on me and i just couldn't bear it. INTENSITY. no escape.
This is how the dimensions looked, this is what I saw:
i felt people in the ceremony must be looking at me laughing at me. I felt so insecure and shameful.the shamans girlfriend came to calm me, blew smoke on me, and at that moment she did save me. just holding her hand gave me a semblance of earth and being in reality, i lay my head on her shoulder and chest and felt like i searched for the feminine love in her my mother never gave me. but then, the guy next to me started shoving me, he was lost in his own visions. i asked her to try to help me, talk to him, get him to move . in the middle of everything the shaman changed the words of his song and made us all laugh. i could hear my own laughter echoing in the place where there is no time. i accidentally rocked my head back and forth into the shamans gf water bowl instrument and it spilled all over us. more shame. I could not see at all-from dark, and from visions. i then asked her to help me to the bathroom. again, more shame. i tried to explain to her as she led me to the bathroom that the guy next to me, he was really in my face and scaring me, but then she blamed me for wanting to sit in the corner. I went to the bathroom and that was hard to do. because i was so disembodied. I sat on the toilet floor staring at the candle, hoping the light would bring me back to earth but i still kept falling into a hole of self doubt and fear of death and neglect.the toilet bowl and the room became an endless abyss which i kept disappearing into again and again into self destruction. i thought, who will find me if i die and will they care. and if someone will need the toilet and finds me how embarrassing, they will never let me back here! i peered outside the door . the shamans gf was gone. she didn't make sure i was OK. this brought me even more down. i left the bathroom hugging the wall for safety..sat down by the wall between the hallway to the bathroom and the living room and cradled my head in my hands. i didnt have the courage or the sight to get back into the room. i felt like they were on planet earth and i was still in another dimension.
so i returned to the bathroom. i thought , this is it, i should just run away if i ever wake from this nightmare within a nightmare. Ill just hide here.I thought very harshly, as if it defined me and there was no other thought -it was just me, who i was, that "no one cares. you are a prideful shameful nothing. you are not special. you are connected to no one and nothing and serve no merit ". how to define a soul without a human brain? there are no parameters. no description because everything descriptive or expressive is within human parameters, basically all ego . what do we experience as a soul if we have no mind or space and time to define it? its all nothing but yet still something- i thought certainly nothing I could be prideful of. if anything, ashamed.. just then i heard a knock at the door. I ran to my feet and saw juan. he told me he could see me through the door and sense I needed help. (he drank another brew, not the aya, and he said it allowed him to see through walls! devils shade?). Thank God he found me. He took me to my mattress. When I got back I swore to the eyes I would go back to life, to my earth world, and never return. i tried to placate them, i pleaded with them, let me return to earth I will have a child. and i saw myself with a child.
Really, the spirits, the eyes, the realm , it was not scary it was just too full on, and i felt drastically uncomfortable as I did not belong there. I felt I did not merit in life to carry on being there at this time and I felt shamed at trying to go where I shouldnt be. i promised them i would stop asking questions and live this blessing we call life. I dont know if this is what they wanted from me or this was my panicked bribe to get them to let me go. at some point i even tried to promise them I would be a better orthodox jew but in this place you cannot lie, so I accepted my truths and said, ok maybe I cannot be more religious, but I can have children. I asked the eyes if my current BF was the one..i asked why do we love as humans and why do we have kids? No answer. I was too busy trying to run back to earth to "hear" the response
Back on my mattress i continued to freak out, not breathe well. i had drank all my water. i had to cry to the shamens girlfriend for more. she gave me more and i was grateful. even more shamed to be at her mercy again. thought, she must think im pitiful.
i could not lie down because the visions kept turning into other worlds. i would immediately disconnect the moment i hit the pillow. i tried to sit up to enable breathing and looking at the walls shadows to keep me grounded. i still would slip and and out. it took every ounce or stamina to go back and forth and return to earth each time. I felt as if i was in an ocean being dunked in and out endlessly . at times you feel, ok , ill just drown, give up, and other times you fight for the light, to swim to safety. i felt i died and was resurrected a hundred times.
the shamans gf told me, show love to the fear and it will disappear. I never understood why we have love but i do realize it is ALL we have and nothing much more will help or "save" us when we feel so helpless in this world. I started to wonder if love too was an illusion since I felt I was " no one" in that realm or nothing..like what IS love? How can someone really selflessly love another ? and how can we love if we are these undefinable souls? still wondering WHAT the soul is or if perhaps we are all fragments of one big soul.
I had never been so confused about the purpose of love and family more than I was at that moment. it has caused me to question love, when its something I feel so programmed to give. at the time then, just wondered why, why do we need it? as a soul, why do we need children?
I could see slivers of light in the endless abyss. shadows. I wanted to jam the light switch on in the room and scream out to everyone ENOUGH!! and instead I just whimpered a meek "enough! Make it stop!"
after we came down the guy next to me, Lee says , ignore labels people put on you, dont care what people say about you, accept you and be you. Really rang true. he told me he saw me crying before the session and wanted to help but didnt know how. I needed that reassurance at the time. especially because i went into the trip so insecure from that nasty woman's words on the car ride in.
I felt in my trip I head a voice (was it my own?) saying stop asking questions. live life. give and receive love to family " still confused by all this. Lee, although a very nice man , during the ceremony was very vocal ..he sounded like a monster breathing. at some point it became shrill and the shamans gf had to calm him.
every time i heard instruments and singing and couldnt find the shamans voice it sent me into a fearful panic. Maybe because his girlfriend was running the show and i didnt feel she really cared enough about me. I felt alone and lost and apart from the group.
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As I was coming down i thought, the body does not need food. just water.
The shaman came to see how I was. he was so upbeat and positive. i thought it was weird. didnt he see me making a mess and freaking out the whole session? I found out later he had been very deeply involved in his trip and had been cognitive of the room..which explains why his gf took so much control of the session and icaros. he had no clue what I had been through . he asked me if I would come to the next session at breakfast and I told him reluctantly I did not know.
i realized also in those realms at the closing that my bf was right in a way, he said dont go there, dont do aya, don't ask. just live. and it seemed like maybe he knew all along more than me. its as if he knew but refused to communicate openly about it.. So then I realized do not judge the intelligence of others, some have intuitive knowledge of deeper things.
I was told in my mind not to speak of anything after just listen to others and look for their source from where they come from. do not judge, be humble. have patience. we are all in this for good or for bad and we need the love to spread the light.
Felt enormously blessed to be in this world, this world is an ESCAPE-an escape from the intensity of justice that I had seen in the other realms. so blessed with cognitive dissonance. to live with no "real" cares. most live life easy and lovingly not reactive just supportive. I told myself, not to care what people think because we are all just human and trying our best.
I thought, the real reality is too much for the brain to comprehend. don't go there. I wonder if that was the fear or the plant talking? or truth?
I realize my goal in life is am looking for love & happiness. Seems simplistic..but this was the thought.
during my visions I looked at reality from the side, just like in my previous ceremony ( except then I didnt understand what I was seeing)! it was like looking at the side of a sheet of paper. layers of realities and dimensions/ i also saw the world like on a cockpit simulator. coordinates for planet earth, looking at the side as if in a plane on a tilt, viewing this dimension on its side.
the woman who hurt my feelings before the ceremony apologized to me on the way home. still in a state of shock I told her it was ok and hugged her. I dont know how I feel about that.
after the ceremony i went home and got ready for shabbat. I had a revelation while lighting shabbat candles: remembered how overtaken i was with pleading to the angels/entities and the thousands of eyes. i understood how easy it could have been to fall into idol worship. to be in a dimension of no excuses, only truth. judaism commands us to look at only one God, and that's a freeing thought,to have only one God. to have one power. to believe in angels as god is to be imprisoned and to be a victim to those limited facets. perhaps we dont have the capability to understand, but they are holy messengers. greater than us perhaps but still under the auspices of God. He controls everything and anything and beyond of what is.
after coming home, feelings of shame fear to die, feeling to run and never speak of it. I called the shaman a few days later and it was obvious his gf had filled him in on my experiences in the session. he sounded very defensive telling me nothing bad of spirit was in the room. i explained that i was not frightened because I saw something scary per se but only because I couldnt handle myself in the realm I was in. He mentioned my repetitive feelings of going back and forth like death could signify trauma of previous deaths in other lifetimes. he also suggested I maybe wait to do aya again. I wasnt sure what to think. was he speaking from the perspective of his jealous girlfriend or just concerned I was not mentally prepared? I found it hard to believe because the 3 previous sessions I handled well. was it the potion I drank before that made it so intense or was it something he saw intuitively as a healer? I am inclined to believe it was from his girlfriend because when I was at the ceremony, after, he was urging me very much to come back soon. After discussing these events with my friend, who is a psychotherapist, she insisted that I had these negative feelings during the session because the shamans girlfriend made me feel scared and vulnerable, plus that nasty woman's comments before the session and merely didnt feel comfortable enough in my surroundings to be able to let go properly. Ayahuasca is a medicine you must do in a safe and conducive setting. surroundings are very influential to experience. I wondered if I shoulfdcome again to do another session to confront the fear. truth is i was terrified. I decided i would force myself to go back because the next session would be the last for a very long time. I did my dieting, and lo and behold hours before the ceremony i got my period and couldn't join. you should know usually my time of month comes like clockwork, every month on time. the month before my period came a week late and i couldn't understand why. now I have my answer. The plant did not want me to come to this last ceremony.
All in all I feel like I had a very positive turn around in my temperament, perspective, health and outlook after the first 3 ceremonies (even if session #2 had me in tears for a few days till i worked it out and i was left happier than ever)/ yet after session 4 I feel like I was left feeling sad and a bit confused. I still carry the lessons I have learned and have evolved and changed to whole nother person.
*update...given this last experience more thought. it made me flash back to the place where I felt alone a soul adrift in those circular fractal dimensions. Could it be i felt alone and lonely and nothing and void because i was at that point part of the one? Exploring the idea that each one of us is part of a ONE and we are all interacting together as people but really part of the ONE. we are the ONE reflecting on itself.
This beautiful documentary talks about this concept:
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